How to Get Past Automated Voice Menus

When you pay someone for a product or service, you expect that someone to fix any issues that may come up with that service. Sounds easy enough, just call up the company and tell them your problem. Well as most of us know, it’s not that simple. Most customer service calls start with some type of automated menu system that asks you to punch buttons or speak into the phone. Using an automated voice menu is extremely frustrating because it never knows what the hell you’re saying….

“If you want technical support, please say Yes”


“I’m sorry, did you say yes?”


“I’m sorry, did you say nice flannel vest?”

*glass shatters as customer jumps to their death*

Last September I called DirecTV because they were screwing me over on my bill.  I went through the voice navigation menu and it couldn’t figure out what I was saying.  I know I was saying “YES”, I wasn’t saying “Si” or “Yessum” but it failed to recognize what I was saying.  I was so frustrated that finally I yelled “Just let me talk to a f##@&ing person”, and then there was a brief silence followed by “Please stand by as we connect you to a customer service representative”.

It was that easy, from now on whenever I call DirecTV that’s how I start out my conversation.  It’s quite the conversation starter I know, but since when do cyborgs have feelings?  I can’t verify this works for all voice automation menus but I know for a fact that it will work with DirecTV.

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2 Responses to “How to Get Past Automated Voice Menus”

  1. They must have a dictionary for the VR system that recognizes “f*ck, f*cker, or f*cking.” LOL! That’s funny!

  2. Pitmaster Ottis says:

    Wonder if that’ll work for 511…

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